Away from the Sun
by LoveBackwards
Summary: Mod.AU.  A series of drabbles following the life of Iroh and his wife and son.
1. Chapter 1

**I'll Be.**

Even after all these years, he remembered Lian looking best the day of her wedding. Of course she was always beautiful, but that day she looked absolutely flawless – it was an occasion they had been waiting for, for some time now. Outside, under a cherry blossom tree (her favorite kind) he held her in his arms, sealing their marriage with a kiss.

She wore a simple dress, long but not too puffy or princess-like. He wondered if it really felt like a fairy tale to her, she claimed her life had started to feel like one once they got serious. He was glad to have her, too, even if she didn't seem to always believe him. He pulled away and she gave a dazed smile, laughing a little. Her hair was a little out of place, now, but she finally seemed relaxed at their wedding.

Azulon was the first one to stand up, giving his son a smile. Did he ever approve of a woman like Lian? No, of course not, she had quite the reputation in her young age, but Iroh saw the good in her just like he did anyone else. His teenage brother followed the suit of their father, only after a glare. Iroh smiled genuinely, the way he always did, as he walked away, arm-in-arm with his newlywed life. She was excited, nearly dragging him back in the limo which made him fall on top of her.

"I don't want to ruin your dress." He chuckled as he sat upright, feeling her wrap her arms tight around his. He gently brushed his lips across her forehead and she looked up to him, like a curious child. "I'll be the greatest man in your life…" He whispered in a rare serious tone. She poked his nose with a mischievous smirk.

"You already are, Iroh."

**Sunday Mornings.**

Iroh quietly made his tea in the kitchen, not wanting to disturb her sleep. He started to make her favorite kind, too; she liked waking up to it. It surprised him, how someone in their late twenties was willing to sleep so late. Still, she didn't necessarily have a permanent job right now, so why force her into a habit she didn't quite need yet? It wasn't his way, but she wasn't him, so he'd let her be.

"Iroh?" She moaned from the bed and he smiled, she was probably still half asleep, calling to him like a teenager who was ready to play sick so she wouldn't have to go to school. He heard her feet pad the floor as she got out of bed, very slowly of course, and made her way to him. She had her robe tied at the waist and was in the process of twisting her silk hair into a messy bun.

"Good morning." He pecked her cheek and she warmly smiled, slipping her arms around his abdomen from behind and resting her head between his shoulder blades.

"It's raining." She yawned and he laughed lightly, pouring his tea into his favorite glass – the one he tended to use every morning despite the numerous ones he owned. Why did everyone buy him tea cups for Christmas?

"Yes dear that it is." He acknowledged, glancing out the window to the grey sky. Like anyone else, rain seemed to bring down Iroh's mood, but he wouldn't let Lian catch onto that. Her mood could be so easily twisted; he didn't want to make any drastic change.

"We should stay in today." She whispered, softly nipping at his earlobe until she heard a soft purr. She traced the outline of his abs with her index finger, which only gave him the chills. He put his empty glass down and turned to face her, pushing her strands of hair out of her face and cupping her cheek in his palm.

"Perhaps we should…" He leaned forward to kiss her.

**Bad Influence.**

Maybe it was that her hair was loosely tied back, or her dress was a little too short. It could have been that maybe her cleavage was pushed up just a _little_ too much; it could be that she was giggling at everything that was said to her. Whatever it was, Lian seemed more comfortable around Iroh's family than she had ever been.

"One more drink, Iroh." She held up her glass of wine and he graciously refused; somehow finding it impossible to be embarrassed by his wife's behavior. He knew she was one to have a 'good' time before him, why not let her let loose once in a while? Sure here wasn't the best choice, but she wasn't an obnoxious drunk, just a happy one.

"No, dear, I am fine." He took the glass from her and pecked her cheek. Azulon sneered; never ready to put down his favorite son, but his eyes speaking a thousand words. Ozai didn't seem pleased seeing he was the one being vented on with scolds and lectures.

He didn't even mind escorting her to the bathroom, clicking the door shut and holding her hair back. He'd have to talk with her about it in the morning, but he just wasn't concerned. She mumbled when she was finished and he adjusted the clip in her hair so it stayed back before sitting on the floor with her.

"You're all so much better than me." She slurred and he frowned, tucking her hair neatly behind her ear. She smiled and leaned into his hold. "All so beautiful and presentable…and then you get stuck with someone like me, who can't even stay sober because I don't know how to deal with stress." She started to ramble and he pulled her to sit between his legs, cradling her like a child.

"It's alright; I just wish you wouldn't work yourself up so much, you know there's no need for this." He whispered and she nodded, resting her head against his chest. "They just don't see you the way I do."

"Nobody sees me the way you do…I'm just a bad influence on you."

**Love Her.**

"She has clinical depression." The doctor informed from behind the desk. Iroh kept his lips pursed in a frown, but nodded. He expected something had been going on for some time now; he just wasn't sure how to handle this. "Lian didn't want you to hear it from her; she was in hysterics when we asked if she'd like us to speak to you."

"Hysterics? What did you say to her?" His brows furrowed with frustration, where was his wife?

"Just we asked her how she was feeling and…it went into doubt and worthlessness." That wasn't what he hoped to hear, but what did he expect? "She should be out any moment. We're starting her on a low dosage of SSRI; it has the least side effects and should keep her mood, appetite, sleeping order…"

"I'm not sure how I feel about this…" He scratched the back of his neck – he loved his wife. He would take care of Lian with or without medication, always. She stepped in the room and took her seat beside him, a smile masking the tears she had shed. Her eyes were still red and puffy.

"I'm sorry; sir, but your wife requested this." The woman replied and he glanced to Lian, who was fidgeting with the fabric of her skirt on her lap.

**What I Want.**

Playfully, Lian sat on her husband's abdomen. Sure it was late, but nobody had to go to work in the morning. He groaned and rolled over, fighting her away with swatting hands, but with a pillow in hand she clearly had the upper hand. She leaned forward and teasingly kissed his chin; she could feel him smile to that. Her moods had been better, so great in fact she weaned herself off her medication over the months. Only when her moods were really bad did she take it – maybe a little extra, just in case.

"Iroh, I have news." She whispered and he pulled the pillow off his face to look her in the face, still smiling like a child.

"News? Then you should tell me, dear." He winked and she giggled, running her fingers through his greying hair. She made a 'hm' sound through her closed lips, thinking over whether she should or not. Remaining silent so she could have her fun, Iroh played with her delicate hands. She fought back with her fingers and he did the same in childish pride.

"I'm pregnant." She whispered and he stared. Her smile went to a nervous, concealed frown. Was he upset? Did he think she wasn't ready? "That is great!" He pulled her frame to his and began smothering her with kisses and affection; she felt a warm feeling. One that he always seemed to give her.

**Life Starts Now.**

She had been taken off her medication altogether for fear of birth defects. She had been given other methods of dealing with her depression in case she got in a 'mood'. Lian had been checked on every two weeks, for behavior purposes and the baby.

Still, three months later it was declared a miscarriage.

Of course she cried, and even though he tried to hide it, Iroh cried, too. They suffered sleepless nights, and she refused her medication each time it was offered to her. Iroh put up a good front, that he was ok, ready to move on with her. After he felt more at ease, he focused on comforting her, it would take a greater toll on her; she was the one carrying life. He explained how natural it is for a mother to get so down about a miscarriage, but she could tell he was, too. With his back faced to her at night, he stayed up for hours thinking about it. he thought she didn't know.

He always looked out for her that way.

"I shouldn't be here right now…" She whispered one day, while they sat in bed watching a movie. It puzzled him, but Iroh let her finish, she had something she wanted to get off her chest. "Iroh…I was abusing my medication." She confessed.

"Lian…you are not being punished. Surely it's a great loss, but we can get through it together." He assured and she wiped her eyes quickly. He hated it when she cried, more than she could ever know. He wiped her eyes with the side of his thumb, she was trembling now. Why was she so scared?

"I abused them when I was pregnant."

**

* * *

It's kind of brief (I actually didn't plan on focusing on his marriage for a whole chapter). Now for ages, Iroh's in his early thirties and Lian her late twenties – Ozai's in his later teens. I kind of wanted to give definition to Iroh's life, even if it's only my view. He doesn't get much of his past written, or not much I've seen. Either way I don't read here enough to know.**

**As for his wife, she's never mentioned so I kind of threw …this in. I figure he'd have a happy wife but not everyone starts out the way they are now (Iroh almost brought down Ba Sing Se after all…). I figured he would be the one to see the best in a person and she does make a turnaround; probably around Lu Ten ^^.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender.**


	2. Chapter 2

**What I've Done.**

He silently prepared dinner; it had been weeks since he'd said much. She regretted it, of course, but for some reason she expected Iroh to get over it quicker. It sounded selfish even in her mind, but Lian never had to deal with her husband being angry with her – maybe even disgusted. Maybe now he realized what everyone else saw her for; nobody. How she would give anything to take it all back, to see him smile or hear him laugh. To hear his voice.

Lian looked up from the sink after washing her face, a woman she didn't want to recognize showed in the reflection of the mirror. Pale porcelain skin and silky black hair, beautiful. Beauty only ran skin-deep, though. That beautiful woman in the mirror, she secretly had an addiction to her antidepressants. She was also selfish, expecting her husband to clean up her mess. That woman, the one in the mirror, she was a liar. She was deceitful, disgraceful, miserable, and needy; everything Iroh wasn't.

That woman killed their baby.

She wouldn't love her either, if put in Iroh's shoes. She had to let go, she knew she did. If she clung onto this, she'd kill herself. To let go of what she'd done, she had to start again; erase what she'd become. She wanted to go back to the way things were before they'd married, before all the shit came out. She opened the medicine cabinet and opened the plastic orange bottle. Her hands were shaking, and she suddenly found her hands shaking beyond her control. Without thinking twice, she dumped them into the toilet, doing the same until all her pills were gone. Maybe this wasn't how she should deal with it, but she couldn't risk it anymore. She flushed and sat on the bathroom floor, silently crying to herself. Why was she upset? Wasn't this a good thing?

What if she upset Iroh more?

About twenty minutes later he knocked and entered the bathroom, to check up on her. He arched a brow and held a hand out, to pull her to her feet. She graciously accepted and sniffled, having calmed herself down already.

"What are you doing here?"

"They're gone, my pills…everything, I want a fresh start. I'll do therapy or whatever you ask, Iroh…" She whispered and he gave her a sympathetic stare before pulling her into an embrace. "Forgive me for what I've done."

"I do, Lian."

**Lost In You.**

A fresh start; Lian meant it when she said it. It was like she was a different person, like they had started dating. Iroh didn't mind, she was doing so well and it was without the medication. She was herself. She woke up earlier, to see him before he left in the morning, to tell him she loved him. She always said he was everything; he said he was nothing without her. She said if it wasn't for him, she'd probably be dead; he said she would pull through no matter what and she was stronger than she thought she was.

For Christmas, after visiting the family (and meeting Ursa, Ozai's new girlfriend), Iroh gave her a necklace. It had belonged to his mother, Ilah, but he believed she deserved it. Ilah wanted him to pass it down once he was married. She took it to heart; she was supposed to.

"I don't make much of my own money…" She hardly had any income, but she was working part-time now. He was still encouraging her to finish college, he'd pay. She said that'd be too much. One day he was sure he'd convince her.

"I don't expect a materialistic gift from you, dear. Once the holidays pass over, we can go for a nice dinner or something." He smiled and she returned a true smile. Her eyes filled with excitement and he pecked her lips. She returned and bit her bottom lip, bouncing in her seat like a child. "What do you want to tell me?" He whispered with a chuckle.

"I…don't know how you'll react." She suddenly frowned, second-guessing herself. He pulled her on his lap and leaned his head against the top of hers.

"I am sure whatever it is, I'll take it well."

"It's soon…well, it's been months really, a lot of months….and I'm pregnant." She looked down and he stroked her hair. He pecked her cheek and tilted her chin to face him; which she did.

"And I couldn't be happier."

**The Good Life.**

Eight months later, Lian lay panting on the hospital bed. She was apologized to numerous times, being reminded that complications were highly possible because of her miscarriage. She heard that the entire time she was pregnant – they even tried to talk her into abortion. No, she had things right this time. She was ready to be the hero mom to her little boy or girl. Iroh held her hand tight and pushed her matted strands of hair to the side.

"Ma'am." The nurse came in with a bundle of blankets and caught both of their attention. Cautiously, the nurse placed the bundle that held an infant in Lian's arms. She couldn't help but move the blanket out of the baby's face to get a curious glimpse. It didn't look like either her or Iroh; was it too soon to tell? She didn't want to sound like an idiot by asking. "You've given birth to a healthy baby boy…I'll give you a moment." She waved enthusiastically and left the room. Iroh laughed and pecked her cheek.

"He is beautiful…you did a fine job." He whispered and she smiled. He always made her feel good, even when she felt so drained of her energy. The baby cried and her brows arched in worry. Slowly cradling the baby calmed him down, he even clung to the fabric of the blanket around him as his cries became soft whimpers.

"Do you have…any names? Maybe we should have figured out if it was a boy or girl. I mean, surprises are fun but I don't know where to start." She began rambling and he silenced her by placing his finger over her lips.

"Do you like Iroh Jr.?" He asked and she shook her head in disapproval without second thought. He chuckled. "See? We've already gone through one name…how about Lu Ten?" He asked and she looked down to the newborn.

"Lu Ten…" She whispered as she stroked his wispy hair. "I like it." She smiled.

**Second Chance.**

"Iroh! Look, look!" Lian called from the kitchen as her husband read his book and drank his tea. Curiously, Iroh glanced over, a grin appearing on his face. Quietly, he crept up behind their two-year-old soon and scooped him in his arms as he took his first steps. Lian clapped excitedly, like a schoolgirl, and smothered her son's face with kisses.

"Momma." Lu Ten smiled and closed his eyes as he was kissed. He opened them and threw his arms out, causing both of his parents to laugh. He enjoyed making them laugh, especially Lian. She seemed a lot harder than Iroh to amuse, but she was happier when he was around.

"Yes, that is your mother." Iroh pecked his cheek and pulled his wife into the embrace with his son. "Now, mind showing me how you walk again?" He set Lu Ten on the ground and the small child blinked up innocently.

"He's getting so big…" She whispered and Iroh smiled to her, a knowing smile that said 'I'm just as surprised'. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder. "I have class tonight."

"Very well, we can survive on macaroni and cheese for dinner." He winked and she nudged him, watching Lu Ten waddle around the kitchen like the confused baby he was. "I am kidding; I'll make sure you come home to a nice home-cooked meal, my Lian."

"And make sure Lu Ten is settled, my Iroh." She teased and he played with the messy bun her hair was tied in.

"Momma, tea!" Lu Ten reached for the kettle and Iroh grinned, going to catch his son before he caused damage. Lian smiled, watching them. She couldn't be more proud to have these men, out of all the men in the world, in her life.

**Fingerprints.**

"Why's it so special, mom?" Lian looked to her six-year-old son as the question was asked. She cocked her head; usually Lu Ten was smiling, especially at family events such as the dinner they were sharing with Iroh's brother, sister-in-law and father.

"What?" She whispered back, knowing it must be seriously bothering him.

"Lu Ten, pass the meat." Azulon called from across the table before going into a coughing fit. Iroh frowned and stroked his back, only to be brushed off. Despite everyone insisting to hold this off until he was well again, he said the dinner they shared together once every month would be held on its proper date. He was never one to accept pity, even if they only called it help. Lian took on the task of passing the plate to Iroh who in turn gave it to his father. "I didn't ask you…" The elder muttered under his breath and Lian frowned, pretending she didn't hear it. Neither of his daughter-in-laws seemed to grow on him.

She could understand with herself, she had been a party-girl. She was a drinker, an attention-seeker. She was flashy and rambunctious. Lian had always been one to show too much skin or drink one too many shots; but Ursa wasn't. Ursa was quiet and to herself. She was very polite and seemed easily hurt by Azulon's words, though she made no verbal indication. Truthfully, Lian though Ozai was lucky to come across such a woman, and she truly loved him, too.

"Why's it so special Auntie Ursa's having a baby?" Lu Ten mumbled, pushing the food on his plate around with his fork.

"It was just as special as when I was about to have you…" Both occasions seemed to only be special to Iroh. Azulon only approved of Lu Ten because he had to and they were married. Ozai, on the other hand, was only engaged to Ursa. That was his excuse to hate the unborn grandchild. She wondered how excited her brother-in-law really was.

"Why's dad always talk about it?"

"Because your dad's going to be an uncle for the first time…" She started, hearing him sigh. "But you'll always be his favorite little boy…and my precious son…" She pulled him to her and playfully kissed the side of his face, tickling his ribs. He laughed and squirmed, trying to push her away out of embarrassment.

"Momm." He drawled and she smiled, blowing a raspberry on his neck.

"Pardon, we're eating." Azulon spat bitterly. Lian blushed and pulled away, shifting in her seat as she went back to her meal. Ursa was sneaking her a smile and Iroh chuckled a little. She glanced to her other side.

Lu Ten was beaming with his own smile now, too.


End file.
